Football Game Watch
Iowa Hawkeyes vs. Minnesota Golden Gophers
Saturday, October 28, 2017, 3:30 p.m. Pacific time
Barney’s Beanery (2 locations: Santa Monica and Redondo Beach)
University of Iowa student Tanner Lafever is back with a preview of Saturday’s Iowa-Minnesota game.
Football Game Watch: Iowa vs. Minnesota
Help. I’ve fallen and I can’t get up.
Who am I?
No I’m not a spokesperson for those ridiculous Life Alert commercials. At 22 years old I’m decades from the age bracket that would qualify me for my own personal panic button. But I will admit, as I felt the life drain from by body on Saturday after watching a 4th down pass dropped that would have extended overtime against Northwestern, I did, for a second, wonder if I might require some form of emergency assistance.
I toughed it out, though. And perhaps it was only my youthful exuberance that helped me overcome the agony I was sharing in that moment with Hawkeye fans everywhere.
The point is (if I’m even making one at all), age matters sometimes. And Iowa (4-3, 1-3) is presented with just such a challenge this Saturday as it hosts Minnesota (4-3, 1-3) at 3:30 PST on FS1.
That school in the state with all those lakes and stuff is littered with youth. Over 69 percent of the Golden Gopher roster is made up of underclassmen, and those same vermin are led by first year head coach P.J. Fleck. At just 36 years old, Fleck is the youngest coach in the Big Ten and the 4th youngest in all of college football.
But although he undoubtedly outpaces Iowa’s head man in spryness and original hair color, we can take solace in the fact that 62 year-old Kirk Ferentz is a tenured ‘professor’ of the coaching institution who doesn’t have to take any crap from some young whipper-snapper in Minneapolis.
I mean who the Fleck does this guy think he is?
More good news is that Iowa has already made a habit of swatting down the ‘millennials’ of college football head coaches in 2017, sending both 37 year-old Matt Campbell of Iowa State and 38 year-old Seth Littrell of North Texas home with a big fat ‘L’ on their respective records.
But perhaps even more important are the material stakes surrounding this rivalry match-up. Saturday will mark the 83rd meeting between the two schools with Floyd of Rosedale on the line (for those who don’t know, Floyd is a glorious 98 pound trophy of a pig that’s awarded to the Iowa-Minnesota winner each year).
In the spirit of said farm animal, and solely for the sake of this week’s game, I elected to run a scientific study in order to compare the level of affection Iowans and Minnesotans have for bacon. The results of said study (which was totally above board BTW) conclusively showed that us Iowans are far superior lovers of the world’s finest breakfast item.
Such findings could prove crucial to the victorious side in Saturday’s contest.
So let’s just ignore Iowa’s record this one time, as well as any lingering depression we may or may not be feeling in the aftermath of last weekend. Because the honest truth is this:
The outcome of the next game will have nothing to do with statistics or strategy. We’re going to win it because our cantankerous, elderly bunch of Hawkeyes will hit harder, execute better, and coach smarter than any lousy group of juvenile gophers brazen enough to step foot in Kinnick Stadium (named after another old guy as it happens!).
Oh, and also, WE’RE NOT GIVING UP THAT BEAUTIFUL BRONZE PIG.
See you all on Saturday, and make sure you leave room for a late breakfast.